How much more are you willing to let go?

Far too often in life, we are confronted with two options: to either discard part of our value system in order to receive something that is, more than likely, less valuable. Unfortunately, we frequently make this trade, which is usually not in our favour. We become less valuable in the process, eventually getting to the point where there's nothing left for us to trade — which makes us feel even less valuable — causing this spiral of valuelessness.

What is a Value System, anyway?

In order for us to properly understand what a Value System is, we must first understand what Values and Principles are.

Values are core beliefs or ideals that are non-negotiable and define what you deeply care about. They remain stable over time. Of course, this doesn't mean they never change — but the frequency of that is negligible. Some examples include: integrity, freedom, compassion, faith, etc.

We'll define principles as flexible guidelines or rules derived from values that help you navigate specific situations. They can evolve with new insights and experiences. An example of this would be:
"Always listen first" turning into "Listen carefully before responding."

From the definitions above, we can now define a Value System as a structured set of values that guides consistent behaviour, decision-making, and judgment.

We can clearly see from these definitions that a value system that can be easily discarded is either not really a value system, or was just a principle to begin with. If you're quick to give up a value you hold for some other benefit, how much of a value was it, really? At what point would you have given up enough to be satisfied?

Just like willpower, which is not infinite in supply, so is our value system. If you consistently give it up for something else, you will end up with none of it — which will only lead to more dread in your life. A terrible consequence of this is that you get to a point where you're entirely convinced that those values you once held so tightly were not that important to begin with.

This clearly doesn't come from a place of conviction, but from a place of trying to justify that which — in most cases — can no longer be undone. You’ve travelled so far down that alley that it seems the only option left is to give yourself a good reason to stay there.

However, the most important thing to even think about is trust. Can he who is willing to trade part of their value system for crumbs be trusted? What other value are you willing to discard the moment the right opportunity presents itself? Perhaps you do not even hold to that value system at all.

If the very thing that makes you who you are is that easily discardable the moment something else — which more than likely will only yield momentary pleasure — shows up, what else are you willing to discard? Your friendships? Family? Children?

A man who’s willing to give this up is more than likely to give up much more — even more than he himself might realise.

However, to avoid this being all gloomy: before discarding your value system, or parts of it, for anything else — regardless of what that is — consider these questions first:

• What does it say about your very own personhood?

• Does it increase your trust score with others?

• Does it diminish the value of your value system — or even your own value?

• What will you have left once you would have traded it all?

Whatever you choose — though I highly recommend having a very solid value system — if your value system were a resource, be rest assured that it is indeed a limited one. Sooner or later, that cup will run dry. And all that you'll have left will be you — just you — and nothing, and no one else. Feeling all valueless.
Of course, if you choose to be a tradesman.

Choose wisely.

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Chronicles of Yimnai